18 . . .
How can I summarise an entire year?
An entire 365 days of moments, both big and small, momentous and innocuous. Looking back on it, what’s the difference? I can tell you that I went to Mauritius, or I saw Red Hot Chilli Peppers live, or I went here and I did that, yet the things that stick in my memory the most are the tiny of moments.
I like to think that life is all the beautiful little moments. The flowers you pass, the streets you roam, the silly doodles in your sketchbooks . . . but this year has been so much more than little moments. It’s been adventure and excitement; vibrancy and passion. It’s been an explosion of big moments, of occasions and events and experiences and beauty and richness and vitality and . . . life. It’s been a year where I felt alive.
I’ve been to festivals and seen my heroes live; I’ve sat and contemplated the world on rocks in the sea. I’ve visited countries more beautiful than I could ever imagine – been treated to places I never would have even turned my mind to. Laid on a beach under the stars with strangers at 3am, made friends in airports, danced in pools past midnight, had deep life conversations at parties, made new friends, treasured old ones, got lost, been found . . .
I’m so reluctant to see 18 go; terrified, really.
This has been the best year of my life – so far. Part of me is scared for the future; the tight-rope of responsibility and freedom I found myself walking at 18 one day will snap. Things like bills, rent, careers, savings and long-term prospects will need to be acknowledged . . .
But I’m excited too. In amongst the smaller details of the year, the less movie-montage memories have been setting the stage for what could be the rest of my life. I’ve sold a website – wait, for a moment, let’s acknowledge that in the entirety it deserves.
When I was going into this year, I remember having this paralyzing sense of fear. 18. It’s a significant number; a heavy one. The first year of my adult life. In many ways, I felt a sense of responsibility: you are now entering who you are going to be for the rest of your life.
I had this overwhelming sense of mortality; not of life, but of youth. Being an adult meant reality. It meant worrying about house prices and university and my future and safe choices and . . .
I don’t know. I’ve never by any means been a wild child, riding out my youth until it’s worn thin, but the reality of “real life” was – and is – scary.
My old site was almost a symbol of my youth. It was essentially an online diary for years; a collection of creativity that fuelled my passion and, actually, the rest of my life. A tiny, free website I started at 14 as a girl with a love for writing turned into this tiny business. At 17, through the experience gained on this site, I managed to get an apprenticeship and then a job and this year, just as I’d started my new site, someone bought my childhood website off me . . . funding an absolutely beautiful end of the year.
I’ve been lucky; I’ve been rewarded; I’ve been motivated and inspired. I’ve worked hard, I’ve played hard, I’ve met so many people and enjoyed so much . . . so maybe a thank you, instead of a summary.
Thank you to the people that have made this year so special, whether for a moment or a memory. This life is just a sum of moments; I am just a sum of parts. It’s the places we go and the people we meet that make us who we are; the entire fabric of this year was woven by you. Thank you to my friends, even the ones that got left behind: I am constantly learning from you. Constantly growing in your company. It’s a privilege to be on this journey through life with you, for however long we ride it together.
Thank you to my family. Everything may be taken for granted, but I promise you nothing is.
Thank you to the people I met for fractions of time; the people that danced with us into the early hours of the morning, the ones that ran for trains, chatted about books and almost got run over at a beach with us. I’m sure there’s a polaroid somewhere that simply cannot be explained.
Thank you to the people I’ll never speak to again; time spent, however short, is always treasured – and lessons need to be learnt.
Thank you to myself – having dreams can be hard – and chasing them can be harder. 3am coffee-fueled writing frenzies are decidedly less glamourous than “dream-chasing” implies . . . but I’m proud of you. And I’m glad you’re seeing the product of your hard work. Thank you for getting me here; it was hardly easy.
So maybe a promise? To me, to you, to all the people I’m yet to meet.
Hopefully, my years to come will be just as exciting and adventurous as 18 was. I can’t predict where life will take me, where life will take any of us, but I can promise this: I promise to remember this feeling. I promise to treasure this year in all its beauty, to appreciate it, and live all my years trying to find this feeling in what’s coming next.
Happy 19th…! Wonderful reflective post…! You are a phenomenal writer by the way…!
Thank you so much lovely! That’s such a great compliment to recieve 😀 x
Happy birthday x
Thanks lovely x
The next time you are afraid of your choices, remind yourself that very few choices are permanent, even if social media won’t let us forget them.
Very good point!
This was truly a lovely post. 18 is probably one of the most monumental and memorable years of one’s life and it sounds like you did that justice. Wishing you all the best for the next year!
Thank you so much lovely. And exactly – when I was going into it, that precise reasoning scared me so much. But it was definitely memorable and I’ve loved being 18. Thank you so much lovely! x
Such an amazing post, I totally loved it! Happiest birthday to you beautiful xx
Thank you so much lovely, I really appreciate that! xxx
Happy birthday girl!!
Thank you lovely!x
Oh my sweet Mia!!! You would have the best year, ahead! Happy birthday and we adore youuu
My heart totally just melted – thank you so much beautiful!! <3
I love this soooo much! It is so inspiring. I am 19, almost 20, and I aspire to have some of the experiences you describe. I am excited about what the future holds and you are most definitely living life to the fullest! I hope you have the most amazing years. The future may be scary, but it holds so much excitement! Blessings! Xoxo
Thank you lovely! I hipe you have all the experiences the world could possibly offer you! Happy New Year!xxx
Great post indeed, happy Birthday Mz Mia
I hope nineteen brings many new beginnigns for you girly!
Aww thank you lovely!
This is such a beautiful insight coming from such a young brave soul such as you are, Mia!
I wish you a happy birthday! May the New Year bless you profoundly and remember that 19 holds such wonderful things for you. 💕
Aww thank you so much lovely girl that means a lot! <3
Happy birthday beautiful!
Thank you lovely!
Happy birthday you beautiful angel ❤️ here’s to many many MANY more amazing years, this was a gorgeous post xxxxx
THANK YOU SO MUCH CHLOE! <3 <3 <3
I absolutely LOVED THIS POSTTTT. It was so lovely and uplifting to read❤ And happy 19th birthday!!😊🎉
Thank you so much gorgeous! I hope you had a fantastic New Years Eve <3
No problem at all! And you too🙂xx
19 was a great year for me! I’m sure it’ll be a great one for you too:)
Thank you lovely lady! I have faith! 😀
You look lovely in every single photo. Happy B day girl, have a awesome one. xx
Thank you so much lovely!xxx
Aaaah this was so…..beautiful. Omg happy birthday! You’re growing up so fast 😢 (proud grandma over here) In all seriousness though, I really hope you have a wonderful 19th year and all the years after that. Stay blessed gurl 💕
AWWWW thank you so much lovely! I am growing up too fast…getting old :'( I hope 2018 is AMAZING for you! <3
This is lovely, but 18 is all fun and games but 19 you grow as a person and life will throw it your way for sure! Don’t worry were all on this long ride but hope you have a happy new year!xxx
Oh god that’s worrying! Thanks lovely – hope your 2018 goes great! xxxx
lol those 3am writing frenzies 🙌🏻 love this, sounds like you had quite a year, glad it made you feel alive. cheers to more positive vibes in 2018!
Girl, inspiration never strikes at convenient times does it? :'( And thank you! Hope your 2018 is filled with love, life and success! <3
Happy birthday again girlie! You’re glowing!! <3
Thank you beautiful girl! <3
Happy birthday! Beautiful photos and dress. I hope you achieve all that you want. Considering what you have accomplished at 18, I think 19 will be even bigger. With all the added responsibility age brings, it gives you better wisdom. And it’s really cool that you started blogging at 14. x
Thank you so much lovely! (The dress was from Missguided; I’m not sure if it’s in stock anymore) And I hope so 😀 Thank you! x
Happy New year. Hope you have many great experiences at 19.
Thank you!
The things we fear literally are the things that turn out to be the greatest adventures and best and proudest moments of our life. Way to go beauty for living your dreams. You took on 2017 and you will conquer 2018. So proud of you!
Also WHY?!?! Why do our muses feel the need to visit us at three in the friggin AM? Like all for getting creative, but do they not understand we need beauty sleep? Lol.
Have a happy New Year!💗
YES YES YES! I love that saying and it’s so goddamn true 😀 Thank you lovely – I hope so 😀 And omg right? Like yes I’d love to be inspired…..at like 10am, after an 8 hour sleep and breakfast, pls. Happy new year gorgeous! <3
It really is! You are so welcome beauty! girl yes!!!! And coffee! I NEED coffee! But my muse does not understand that! (Shizzle I probably shouldn’t bitch to much since I need her! lol) Happy new Year to you beautiful! <3
Good luck. The best is yet to come. I promise you. Have a great new year x
Thank you! I hope 2018 is amazing for you 🙂
Whatever it is…. it most certainly is and will be. Gone the distance before so I like my chances. I love it that Axl and Slash have cited the media as being the main trouble makers in their rift. Fire up Cat Lady…. possibly soon to be Mad Cat Lady 🐱🐱🤣😘😆
I can relate to this! I turned 19 this year and felt a lot of apprehension in regards to my future. It’s definitely been tough and a lot of adulting, but for the most part I’ve found 19 to be a good year!
Damn…I’ve been trying to avoid the adulting x_x but I’m glad to know 19 was good for you! I hope 2018 is a wonderful year for you lovely x
Yeah… there comes a point when you can’t avoid it anymore! Aw thanks! You too x
Mia, I loved this so much…so beautifully written! You’ve accomplished so much at 18, so much congrats on selling your website!!!
19 will be even better for you, I can tell how hard you’re working to reach your dreams. 💖 Your hard work will pay off! You’re doing amazing, girl, you really are.
Thank you so so much, that means a lot! (Especially coming from you; you’re a blogger – and person – I really admire.) I hope 2018 brings amazing things for you! <3
Aww. <3 Really?! I never thought of myself as admirable!! You are so sweet. <3 Thank you so much, love!!!
Wishing you a very happy birthday girl! Hope you have a wonderful day and so happy that this year was an amazing one of you! Great post as always and also wish you an even better 2018 with lots of happiness and love <3 🙂
Thank you beautiful! I hope 2018 is full of blessings for you <3
aw, thank you so much! Likewise <3
Happy birthday beautiful! I don’t know how you did it but managed to capture the exact feelings I felt this year leaving 18 too. 2017 sounded like an incredible year, and I’m sure 2018 is going to be even better for you. Reading this has honestly inspired me to live a little more next year, new year’s resolution done, cheers Mia xxx
Aww I’m glad! Nostalgia’s kicked in already man ;-; And THANK YOU SO MUCH GORGEOUS GIRL <3 I'm so glad I could help you set a resolution – now go out and kick 2018's ass xxxx
Wow, I had no idea that you were only 18. (Well, 19 now!) I probably did read it here on your blog before and just forgot. You just seem so wise beyond your years, so I kept thinking you were older. I’m sure you’ll have many awesome memories to come.
Aha thank you, I take that as a massive compliment 🙂 I certainly hope so! Wishing you a fantastic New Year x
Happy birthday!! 💖
Thank you lovely! <3
Happy birthday, don’t worry I’m 22 if anything your youth lives on a lot longer these days because your not expected to move out till way way later now! Still time to be a wild child!
That’s a great point! I hope you have a good 2018 <3
You too, happy new year ❤️
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Happy 19th birthday!! Hope you have another beautiful year 😊 xx
Happy belated birthday! You’re as deserving of everything you’ve experienced and gained this year. I hope 2018 treats you even more fabulously! 🙂
Omg I’m sorry for my late reply, happy birthday beautiful human being! 🎶🌠💕 I also always think of adult life and am scared and I’m 24 haha. Age is just a number. You are doing so many amazing things. Chase your dreams and follow your heart 💕 Love you so much. I wish to see you one day 🌠
Happy 19th, you radiate a lot of positivity