At the moment, I’m trying to kind of reconnect with myself.
I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty authentic person; I try quite hard to understand everything that makes me Mia – my motivations, my fears, my dreams – and stay true to who I am, both the ego/dream me and the real/current me. Honestly, I’d say that I have a really good grip of who I am. My identity. My flaws, my strengths, my dreams and my passions.
But sometimes, in the humdrum of everyday life and just existing, it’s easy to lose track of that. It’s easy to stop thinking and analysing and dreaming and improving and just . . . exist. This can be good – this can even be great! When I’m on holiday, basking in the sun, I don’t want to be worrying or overthinking. I want to be present.
While I’m dragging myself to work everyday? Living on autopilot, silently counting down the days until I’ve saved up this amount of money, or I can go here or do this . . . Well, those are the times when it’s easiest to lose yourself. It’s easier to mentally check out than it is to be present. And I get it!
My dream self, my core self, the me that is in my soul, does not want to be here. Which is unhelpful because I need to be here; life is not all about what we want, sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get what we need. So it becomes easier to tune her out; to ignore her. To lose myself in mindless things, like binge-watching Youtube. Or to sleep for far longer than I need to, enjoying the warm cocoon of my bed as refuge from the outside world.
I get it. I just also need to get the fuck over it.
Because losing that connection, that tether to your authenticity, to your soul, leaves you aimless; hollow. All those people who feel lost, who don’t know their path, where they want to go and what they really want to do . . . We’ve all been there. And, if you made it to the other side, you’ll know that it’s absolutely not somewhere you want to go back to.
So I’ve been reconnecting. Reading. Meditating. Thinking. Dreaming.
Finally – we get to the point of this post! Is there an award somewhere for the longest post introductions? I think I’d win it.
Hello, beautiful people! Today I’m going to be sharing with you one of my absolute dream holidays!
In case you didn’t guess from the various van photos, my dream holiday is a roadtrip. I’d love to go adventuring with a group of like-minded people and just enjoy nature. You know?
Like how amazing would it be to have a massive roadtrip playlist, a really cosy van and just . . . no limits?
how amazing would it be to have friends that would go on roadtrips and run through forests with you?
— misanthropic.💀 (@crystalsndcurls) January 26, 2018
Now, I confess, I also have a couple of dream van-attendees. Mainly because when I interact with these girls I just imagine how inspiring and creative and beautiful (that was so meta) our conversations would be.
So I would have to have:
in this van. There are loads of other bloggers I would love to roadtrip with too (I know I’ve forgotten some of the people that inspired this too – but I read Chloe’s post and was so inspired to write this that I just word-vomited), but honestly reading these girls’ blogs is what actually gave me the idea of a dreamy adventure roadtrip. (They’re all linked and if you read any of their posts you’ll completely understand why they inspired this.)
Personally, the thing I love about roadtrips is the freedom to one day be in quaint little down, the next is a beautiful forest and the next doing handstands on the beach at 3am.
I can just imagine the kind of creative inspiration you would get from all the different sights. Ugh; I’m making myself all sad now.
I actually planned to do a roadtrip last year; my friend and I looked into renting one of those retro caravans (it’s surprisingly cheap; I was surprised!), but it never happened. (Sad face!) However, I retain hope – one day I will get my dream road trip.
So that’s this post done! I hope you enjoyed it; would you be in the van? What’s your dream holiday? Is there anywhere you’ve always wanted to go? Let me know your thoughts down below!